Journal

Once a month, our Women's Group meets at our local coffee shop. We put several tables together where we gather around and share our day to day, hopes, prayers, frustrations, joys, and all other things in between.

At our last meeting, someone asked the questions, "Is there something you do when you feel out of balance with God? How do you get centered with Him again?"

It was an open question. There were no right or wrong answer and you could share or if you felt like some things are private and wanted to keep them close to your heart, then you could do that too.

A few ladies shared how music played a critical part of drawing them back to God. Some even quoted Christian artist's lyrics. Others shared Bible chapter and verse. The Word of God has so many healing scriptures. Others shared specific books or podcasts from Christian speakers and authors.

I was silent, listening to the women share some of their private, intimate feelings, until someone said they knew that I journal-ed and asked if that was a way that I was able to get into the presence of God. I think I hesitated a bit because it was interesting that they knew or understood this about me. I decided to share, that yes, I do journal, write, my thoughts and/or prayers.

There have been words of praise but also words of pain written in my journals. The ladies were curious if I had kept all of my journals, or do I throw them away. Yes, I keep them. They are a part of me, they are who I am. The good, the bad, the pretty, the ugly, the admirable and the shameful.

Many years ago, while the Preacher and I still lived in south Florida, we drove to Colorado for vacation. While in Estes Park, I picked up two books, which were actual diaries of women who had lived in the Rocky Mountains.  It made me wonder, will my journals be found one day and turned into a book for the world to read? No, I doubt that, but I do hope they survive long enough for my son to read and for his children to read. Some of the ladies thought they wouldn't want anyone to see their thoughts written down, but I told them I didn't mind. 

These words are my true self. I don't have to hide behind anything in my journals. On the outside I might smile and tell you that I'm fine, but in my journal, that's where I can be me. This is where I can let go and let God see me.

If you would like to journal but are a little apprehensive, I would suggest to start by sitting down and begin by writing out a prayer. Just start small. You'll see that once you start you may not be able to stop the words from spilling out of your pen and onto your paper.

In your journal let Him see you.

Love from the Preacher and I