the time we have
In April of this year we traveled to Indiana to visit my mother who was living in a nursing home. It had been 5 months since we had seen her last. Whenever I visited her I would bring a crochet project with me to work on while sitting with her. She would ask me what I was working on and what were the stitches that I was using. She would give me some tips and help me with my crocheting. Over the years I had made her two blankets and two triangle shawls, but on this day she asked for a specific item. She asked if I would make her a Pocket Shawl because she was always cold and wanted something to wrap around her shoulders, and the pockets were for her tissues. I immediately began to look for patterns and we discussed what colors she would like.
Upon our arrival back home, I went to the craft store looking for just the right yarn for the pattern that I had found. She always loved pinks and purples and that is what I found in this variegated bulky weight yarn. I began making the shawl but unfortunately life gets in the way and I was not able to work on it as much as I would have liked to. It took longer than I wanted in order to get it done. Of course you think to yourself that you have all the time in the world so there is no rush. I finally finished the shawl in the middle of July.
I was preparing to mail the shawl to my mother when I got the phone call that no one wants to receive. My mother had developed pneumonia and the end was not that far away. At that point "all the time in the world" becomes days.
Mother passed away on July 29.
I took the shawl with me when we went back to Indiana for the funeral. I had all of these ideas of what to do with it. My nieces had asked to have the blankets that I had made for her so I wondered would they want the shawl too. I also thought about giving it to one of her friends there in the nursing home. In the end I just couldn't seem to part with it.
I now have the shawl in my crochet cupboard along with a granny square blanket and two other blankets, one made by my grandmother and the other two by my mother. They were crocheted for me and so I cherish them. I know now, from my working on my own projects, just how much time, energy and love goes into something that you make for a loved one.
The tradition of crocheting has been taught and handed down through out the generations. How many I don't know because I am sure my grandmother's mother had taught her. I want to continue that tradition of making items for the ones that you love.
I have decided to keep the shawl. even though it will not be able to provide her the warmth I was hoping for, it provides me the remembrance of my mother's love and my love for her. It also helps me to remember that we don't really have "all the time in the world". It is really about the now's and the love we put in to the time we have.
(Read this post to see the blankets that my grandmother and mother had made for me. Blankets )
Pocket Shawl pattern by Naztazia (YouTube)
