Mary, Martha, Who Am I?

Minister's wives sometimes are expected to be the women who are the Martha's in their churches. We are expected to be the person who heads up the Women's Ministry, the Women's Bible Study Group, the meals for the family reception after a funeral, Sunday School lessons and, not so long ago, we were expected to play the piano. These expectations may be even more prevalent in small town churches.

What the people don't understand is that this woman who comes with the minister that has been hired, is someone who has strengths and weaknesses. She may be good at some things and not so good at others. We, as minister's wives are expected to be the Martha of the church because a church really doesn't like to have a Mary as their minister's wife. They want to see her at work.

Me, I'm a Martha, I know I am. But....that doesn't mean I do all things well, nor does it mean I am comfortable doing some things either. I do not really do well in the forefront. I prefer to be in the background. I enjoy working with computers, I enjoy the organizational end of a project. I have tried teaching Bible studies and leading retreats but that is not who I am. (Although, sometimes I wish I could have these talents.)

I wish I could do better at just being a Mary. Sometimes the preacher and I will go to a convention or even to another worship service. Am I sitting there taking in the Word that is being preached? No, I'm looking around, checking out the brochures and bulletin, the power point, and anything else they might be doing differently than we are at our church. I'm thinking about how I can use the ideas I'm getting from all of these things and take them back to our church and improve upon our bulletins, our power point, etc., etc.

How do you shut it off? How do you just relax and let God take over? This is something I think a lot of us Martha's struggle with.  

If you are someone from a church who has a minister's wife who is more of a Mary, then thank God for her. Don't try to make her into someone she is not. "She has chosen the good portion," as Jesus says in Luke 10.42, "and it will not be taken from her."

But, if you have a minister's wife who is a Martha, be in prayer for her, asking the Lord to help her slow down, to quiet her mind, and to show His Grace in that quiet place.